Two mechanisms for uncertainty:
Worry
That’s how normal people feel, totally understandable. The author just told that people with a tendency to worry believe it is helpful for coping. I doubt that. Because as how she defines worrying, a chain of negative thoughts about bad things, I am wondering whether there could be anyone who would think those negative thoughts really contribute to coping. She did not mention how to control worrying but just told we can try to control it instead of suppressing it. In fact, I don’t see the difference between controlling and suppressing in practice.
Avoidance
I don’t believe this at first either. Because avoidance to me means a diversion from anxiety. It is probably the most efficient way of getting rid of anxiety for a short time. However, how she describes avoidance falters my thoughts that avoidance equals diversion. “…often spending a lot of energy zigzagging around and away from that thing that already feels like it’s consuming us. ” Every time I choose avoidance to resist worrying, I know will have to face it eventually but at that moment I just want it to come slowly.
And the next line she quotes from another book convinced me. It seemingly explains the failure of many things I intend to accomplish. It is a gold line to me. “It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you avoid doing or saying things that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.”
Anxiety and excitement
This section inspires me so much, just like how the author felt “I felt so call out when I read this”.
“Anxiety and excitement feel the same, but how we interpret and label them can determine how we experience them.” This is new knowledge to me, never thought these two could be related.
“We can get the same “coming out of our skin” feeling that we experience when we’re feeling anxious. Similar sensations are labeled “anxiety” when we perceive them negatively and “excitement” when we perceive them positively.”
“How we interpret and label them can determine how we experience them.” It happens everywhere in our daily life and determines what kind of person we are, optimists or pessimists. Optimists always perceive good parts of things. However, for a pessimist, it seems that bad things always come to them. There is a good case that can tell what the difference looks like.
We all know the two ancient poems below. If you don’t, go stand in the corner now.
登鹳雀楼
孟浩然
白日依山尽，黄河入海流。
穷千里目，更上一层楼。
登乐游原
李商隐
向晚意不适，驱车登古原。
夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。
Sunset is beautiful and wonderful. No one will not feel its beauty and love it I guess. Both of the poets see its beauty when they saw it. But the reflection of their mind by the sunset is not the same.
孟浩然 lived in the early, peaceful, and burgeoning Tang dynasty. He probably enjoyed his time and grew up with a positive personality. has the positive attitude to look up. When he saw the sunset, he immersed himself in the splendid scene and he wanted more.
李商隐 who is famous for his 凄美的 poem lived in the later, chaotic Tang Dynast. He is definitely a pessimist. When he saw the sunset, he had seen not only the great view also its fading away like the sunset is dying. You can feel the shame and sadness rising from the bottom of his heart
What prospect we choose to see when things happen can be the key that determines what kind of people we are. We will never be capable of choosing where we were born, but I believe we have the capability to choose what we can because at least to some extent. After all "we all live in the gutter, but some of us are still looking at stars"
The control of the emotions is at our hands.
Vulnerability
“Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” I agree with the second half.
More precisely, vulnerability is a state in a special period of time. It is a sign of weakness. It requires lots of courage to show out weak indeed. Regarding vulnerability as the greatest measure of courage is a good practice of interpreting things positively.
