[Atlas of the heart] Mia Wang’s 读书笔记

Mia Wang

Week 1
1.About LEADERSHIP:
If we can’t handle uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure in a way that aligns with our values and furthers our organizational goals, we can’t lead.

About COURAGE and VULNERABILITY:
It takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can’t control the outcome. It also takes discipline and self-awareness to understand what to share with whom. Vulnerability is sharing with people who have earned the right to hear our stories and our experiences.
About COMPARISON:
You may need to constantly remind yourself to focus on your journey instead of checking the lanes next to me.
The key is to cultivating creativity and letting go of comparison.

Week 2

BOREDOM
I think sometimes you feel bored is because you lack doing what enlightened you.
EXPECTATION
When communicating your expectations, it takes courage, but it is crucial. It builds meaningful connection and often leads to having a partner or friend who we can reality-check with.
Reality-check helps us maintaining meaningful connection with ourselves and others.

Week 3

About NOSTALGIA thoughts
We need to cross-examine the nostalgia thoughts, recognizing and accepting the gaps and the inconsistencies in those that make us happy and those which caused us pain.
About CRITICAL THINKING
In the turbulent world, the ability to unlearn and rethink is an essential technique.
About using Sarcasm or Irony to spice up the conversation
Are you dressing something up in humor that requires clarity and honesty? Be mindful about using this technique.
About Raising kids
Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child. That is, let your kid figure out their things that are both developmentally appropriate.

Mia Wang

Week 4

About self care and recognizing shame and understanding its triggers:
Self-compassion has three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
When encountering shameful moments, ask yourself: can you physically recognize when you're in the grip of shame, name it, feel your way through it, and figure out what messages and expectations triggered it? We can't pretend it's not happening or get swept away(which is easy with shame).
About perfectionism
Where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking.
Healthy striving is internally driven. Perfectionism is externally driven by a simple but potentially all-consuming question: What will people think? I need this sentence to remind me how easily we will fall into this trap! When we are in the moment of being shamed or being treated rudely. Should we let perfectionism get into us, not expressing how we think? If we tell our honest thoughts, what will other people think? Will they think we are not the image that they believed before? All above is that perfectionism kills direct communication by telling us that we have to know everything and behave well or we risk looking "less than."
About healthy striving
Healthy striving is self-focused - How can I improve?
About the term - "life paralysis“
It refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we're too afraid too put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It is also all of the dreams that we don't follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others. It is terrifying to risk when you're a perfectionist; your self-worth is on the line.
Be here. Be you.

Mia Wang

Week 5

About LOVE

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can be cultivated between two people only when it exists within each one of them—we can love others only as much as we love ourselves.
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.
I don’t want to betray my mind or heart. I want to live by a love ethic. We need more love between us, but also among us. Not rainbow and unicorn love or commercialized love. We need more authentic love. Gritty, dangerous, wild-eyed, justice-seeking love.
To love with any level of intensity and honesty is to become vulnerable. To love is to know the loss of love. Heartbreak is unavoidable unless we choose not to love at all. Accept and be aware that every time we love, we risk heartbreak.

Mia Wang

Week 6

About TRUST

Key points：
-Boundaries: You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no.
-Reliability: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.
-Accountability: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.
Vault: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential.
-Integrity: You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.
-Nonjudgmental: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment. We can ask each other for help without judgment.
-Generosity: You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others.

About ANGER

Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.

Defensiveness blocks us from hearing feedback and evaluating if we want to make meaningful changes in our thinking or behavior based on input from others.